So here is where we are in our journey as of today.
We decided last fall that we wanted to focus strictly on
adoptive placements. The ways to find adoptive placements in the foster care
system are:
- To look at children posted on the TARE website and submit for information about children that meet your criteria. The downside to this option is that it is statewide (most children posted on TARE have exhausted all local options), it is not always current and it seems to take a long time to get a response when you do make an inquiry. For us specifically, many children on TARE needed a small family or to be the youngest child in the home, which made them incompatible for us.
- To receive e-mail bulletins from our agency of children who are ready to be placed in an adoptive home. These go out when parental rights are terminated and the current placement does not wish to adopt. Occasionally, also, there are bulletins labeled “Legal Risk”, which means CPS is ready to move the child to an adoptive home even though rights have not been terminated yet or the state is still looking into another placement (i.e. a family member). If you get an email that appeals to you, you request that your agency submit your home study to the caseworker for consideration. This also may take time to get a response, and the more “appealing” children receive lots of home studies to be considered. (See my Red Rover video.) These may be local or statewide.
- The third option is to have your agency submit your home study to the Adoption Unit of a specific CPS region, usually close to where you live. They can look at potential matches that may not have gone out via bulletin or posted on TARE yet. This process may move more quickly, depending on the matches available.
We committed to pursuing any options in any of those 3
avenues. We submitted our home study to the San Antonio Adoption Unit, since
there are many potential placements in San
Antonio, and our agency has developed relationships
with the people who work on placements there. We searched TARE and submitted to
get information on several children there, and we sifted through the bulletins
we got via email and responded to a couple to be considered. We knew that the
right match might take a while and resigned to wait.
We were looking for children within our children’s age
range, children with needs we could manage and for 3 or fewer children. Those
criteria are pretty much the “mainstream” criteria, so we didn’t really stand
out to get picked from other families. Plus, as we knew from feedback from
another submission, having 3 biological kids could be a negative thing, since
that made us a large family once we added children, and smaller families are
preferred for some children.
On January 16, I received three emails. One was from a
caseworker of a TARE inquiry we had sent, telling us that a boy that we had
asked about had been placed with family. It was good to know. Sometimes you
never hear anything. The second email was for an adoptive placement of a boy
similar to that one boy. And the third email was for an adoptive placement of a
sibling group of 4 kids. Normally, I don’t forward emails to Mark unless I
think he would want to submit for them, but I forwarded both adoptive emails to
him that day. We had said our limit was 3 kids, but there was something about
the picture of these 4, and the oldest boy wanted a dad who would teach him
computer programming. To my surprise, he responded and told me to submit for
the 4!
We contacted our agency, and they jumped on it. They knew
some information about these kids from their connections at CPS (the kids were
in San Antonio)
and were very excited that we would consider them. Because they are a sibling
group of 4, there isn’t a lot of interest in them. Plus, they are a little bit
older, so basically, we jumped from the “mainstream”. And that completely changed the game for us.
Our agency submitted our home study to the caseworker, and
we were quickly chosen! (I think we were the only ones who submitted.) We were given
what information our agency had about them, and it seemed like a good match for
us. We began the process of an adoptive placement. There are several steps to go through at the beginning to try to ensure a successful placement.
First, there is an initial staffing, which was our agency
and the children’s caseworker talking about the children’s backgrounds and needs
in an adoptive home, who we are as a family and concerns that need to be
addressed. Then, our agency talks to us about what was presented, and we decide
if we want to proceed or not. That happened on January 22. We were satisfied
with the information we were given and felt equipped to handle the needs of the
children, so we decided to proceed.
Then, we get a chance to talk to the caseworker ourselves
and the foster parents to get a more clear picture and specific information
about the children. The caseworker also wanted us to read the children’s case
file, so we went to San Antonio
and did all of that on January 30. The case file was eye opening, but I won’t go
into specifics. After that, we are given another chance to walk away or
proceed. We proceeded. There are concerns for sure, but we felt affirmed and
equipped to continue. At that time, we gave their caseworker a small photo book
to give to the kids to tell them about us.
The next step is to meet the kids. We were so excited to
meet them and planned to meet them the following Saturday, February 8th.
Mark and I decided it was best for us to go by ourselves for the first meeting,
just so we could have time for them to talk to us and us to focus on them. We
went last Saturday, and it was seriously one of the most memorable days of my
life! They are the sweetest kids, and meeting them made me feel like they were
my children, meant to be a part of our family.
So that brings us to where we are today. We have another day
visit planned this Saturday, this time with our kids. Then, the plan is to do a
couple of overnight visits on the next 2 weekends, then have them move in at
Spring Break. They would be a foster placement for 6 months, and we can
finalize an adoption after that.
We would really appreciate your prayers as we move forward.
We know from past experience that there is still a possibility that this could
all fall through before placement. We don’t think it will, and we hope it will
not! There are also many preparations that need to be made to accommodate them,
including a vehicle and some furniture and room preparations. We need to be
wise with finances in making these preparations. After placement, we know there
will be challenges with adjustment, with building trust and the logistics of parenting 7
kids. We know it won’t be easy, but we believe it will be worth it. Please keep
our family in your prayers.
I cannot wait to share even more information and pictures
once they are OUR children! Stay tuned!
